Dispelling The Myths Part 3

Messy military lawyer doing part three of hopefully trying to put out some correct information and dispelling some of the myths that I know I have heard even at briefings from Department of the Defense officials, especially from some of the sharp instructors. So the number three myth that I want to talk about is it is absolutely 100% false.

This idea that if maybe you were reluctant, maybe you weren’t really feeling the vibe that particular evening, that particular morning, whenever it was you weren’t, you were reluctant but your partner kind of talked you into it. Come on, you know, whatever. I’m not going to do any impressions of somebody convincing somebody to participate in sex, but for whatever reason, even if you were reluctant, but then after some persuasion you decide to participate in the intercourse or in the other sexual activity, that 100% means that you consented.

Okay? I have heard sharp representatives put out that if you had to be persuaded that that meant you didn’t consent. I can’t, I can’t even tell you. I have had conversations when I was a special victim prosecutor for the Midwest between 2010 and 2012. I had to have multiple conversations trying to put out and correct this information because I was interviewing these people who identified as survivors of sexual assault because they were describing that they had been reluctant or maybe just weren’t feeling it initially. But then they did participate in trying to explain to them how that was not an assault enormously powerful or difficult conversation to have. When you’re talking with people who have sort of encapsulated this into their being that they are now a survivor of assault. It’s really unfortunate when people come to believe these myths because then they identify in this way and they come, you know, have a very fixed position.

It’s very difficult the way that I try to work through those issues with women who have identified, and I’ve seen women becuase it really has majority. I’ve certainly have prosecuted and defended male on male cases and also a few female on male cases. The majority is obviously alleged male perpetrators against women. The way that I try to discuss that in a way that’s still respectful of their experience is to ask, I want you to imagine that I was there in the room. Help me understand what it is that you did, like your actions or what it is that you said that would have let me know in watching this happen that you were not participating. I’ve had women come back and say, Well, I guess there wasn’t anything. Right. Okay. And that really speaks more to this idea of mistake of fact to consent or actual consent. And we can talk about more on that later. Messy military lawyer, if you get any questions, please feel free to visit my website or check out some of the videos that I have on YouTube.

Follow Jocelyn Stewart on TikTok at

Jocelyn Stewart is a UCMJ court-martial attorney who specializes in defense of allegations of sexual assault for all branches of the military worldwide.

Contact the Law Office of Jocelyn C. Stewart at 1-888-252-0927.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.