Court Martial Bloopers Part 4

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Court Martial bloopers, part four. Now, I may lose some of you on this one because this one I have to get into some details that’s probably a little bit uncomfortable to really understand the humor. And it’s a dark humor. Like, let’s, let’s not mistake that for anything. Like when a group of us traumatize lawyers get together, who’ve been practicing a courts martial, like when we tell funny stories, people run away, run away. So if you run away, I’m sorry, here’s your disclaimer that this one’s a little, a little dark. So I’m prosecuting a case at a Fort Riley, Kansas, circa 2012. I’m prosecuting us an E-5 for very serious offenses that happened that he did to his daughter. One of the charges was that he had taken some exploitive images of her and specifically had dressed her up in this little outfit that was similar to a Japanese anime porn that he had this fetish for.

And he had like groomed her by showing her that kind of stuff. Anyway it was a very icky case and it was his biological daughter. She was eight. She was awesome, really bright, super sweet, and the wife was also a soldier. And she was like, I want to stay out of it. I don’t want to pick sides. And I’m right. So I could kind of tell that she was going to go south super fast and was probably not going to want to cooperate, but I knew even if she didn’t know it or understand it, that there was information that she would be able to tell us about the location, about stuff that happened in the house, about just things that were ancillary details that would assist in corroborating her story. And so before she went south, I sweetly asked and I got permission from the Army CID office of Fort Riley to use their spaces to take an audio video interview of her, which I did.

And sure enough, yeah, she definitely had some corroboration. So I wanted to understand like where this outfit came from, this like little Japanese anime like outfit. Because I didn’t have the images. Somebody from the unit tipped him off while he was coming back from deployment, that he was coming under investigation. And so we put on evidence that he did not have all of the external hard drives or the same computer when he suddenly returned from deployment. So I can put that in as evidence of another cremer wrong, that he had consciousness of guilt and got rid of these devices, right? Because the girl had described very vividly that he had taken these pictures of her. So we had also collected into evidence the actual outfit that was at the house. It was in her closet the first time CID went there. They just took pictures of it.

And I’m like, okay, great. We need to enter that in evidence. I’m like, oh, we left it back at the house. And I’m like, go back and get it. So they go back and get it. So I have it like this huge court martial. It’s, it’s court martials. Big, big deal. The girl, the woman tried to be like, she went and got a lawyer in legal assistance and was like, I don’t have anything to add. And I was like, oh, did your client tell you that I got her on video with a recorded interview at CID? She knows information. He’s like, she will be there. So she’s there, she’s at this trial, which is obviously a very heavy trial. The members aren’t happy to hear it, right? Like, this is not, nobody wants to hear this, nobody wants to hear this. If you’re still with me, thank you for being here.

Right? This is not easy step. The wife is up on the stand and she’s explaining to the members. Now, mind you, we’ve already entered the actual little outfit into evidence, and it was tiny. Like it was tiny. And the wife will say was not. And so she’s up on the stand. And this was Judge Greg Gross, who I’ve known forever. He’s actually the judge that got kicked off of the Hassan trial when he ordered Hassan to like be forcibly shaved. So Judge Gross does not mince words.Okay? And have practiced in front of him for a very long time.

So we’re there, the wife, the mom is testifying that the husband ordered this outfit for them, for her to dress up in, for them to like, have this fun fetish. And that when it got there when it arrived, it was a little too small. And I’m just like, you know, I’m presenting the solemn face that I should because it’s a serious court martial and a very serious offense. And the judge goes excuse me, when you just testified that the outlet was a a little small, were you joking?

The members were like, I’m over at the table. Like, you know, like, oh, going to take a sip or something and dying, dying. And she’s like, no. And everyone else in their minds is like, oh, honey, oh, that’s a little, it was not just a little small. Like, it, there was like, they wouldn’t have fit on her leg, right? So clearly she was living in the dark and she’s, and then we’re like, okay, so who’s idea? Like, then where did it go? Oh, we gave it to the little girl. Okay, you gave her the little fetish outfit. Okay. And so and so whose idea was that? And she’s like, oh, I don’t remember. Yeah, I don’t remember whose idea that was. So that one may not have been as funny, but I promise you in that moment it was really funny. And if you stayed with me, then maybe you have a dark sense of humor.

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Court Martial Bloopers Part 4

So I'm prosecuting a case at a Fort Riley, Kansas, circa 2012. I'm prosecuting us an E-5 for very serious offenses that happened that he did to his daughter.

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