Court martial bloopers part three. So this one is Fort Riley, Kansas Circle around 2011. I’m prosecuting, I’m doing a special victim prosecution. Honestly, I’m not even sure which case this was. We hear from the bailiff or from an escort or something, that one of our witnesses has a stomach virus. And the judge and I are like yikes. Right? Like who wants that? Like, we’re picturing like both ends, right? Is what we’re hearing. And we’re like who wants that? Who wants to be exposed to that? And so the judge and I carry the burden. This is a prosecution witness. He’s like glaring me down and he’s like, point blank. And this is not in front of the members or anything, but he’s like, do we really need this witness counsel?
Right? Because I was definitely known as being a very thorough prosecutor. I called a lot of witnesses. I put on a lot of corroboration because I wanted to win. And I have never lost a prosecution of an article 120 case. And I think that’s probably why. So he’s like, do we really need this witness? And I’m like, yes, your honor. We do. It’s not a terribly long witness, but yes we do. And so we kind of finagle the order to try to accommodate this person. I guess he was in the bathroom blowing chunks, right? So we hear that he’s sick, we don’t want him in there for very long. And the judge is like, make this happen, right? So we call the witness, he’s a civilian. He was not in uniform or anything. I remember he was a civilian and I can still picture him.
And so he walks into the courtroom and I turn around, and he comes in with this metal trash can it’s huge. Like if any of your kids play, oh, what’s that game where they jump out of these anyway. Like it’s this big gigantic thing that he’s like carrying. And honestly like the act of like carrying this garbage can to me looks like it’s not helping the man’s cause. Oh by the way, there’s like no liner in it and everyone’s wondering like, is there stuff in this bucket? Is there stuff in this can like, oh, at least that’s what’s going through m mind., And the judge looks at me like you better really need this evidence. So he gets up and he answers the few questions that I have, and then he turns to the defense and he’s like, and he cross examination and he’s just sort of like glaring at them, like daring them to have crossed. I think they had to ask like one, maybe two questions. I think this guy was maybe in the courtroom for all of like 50 seconds, right? Like under a minute we’re like, we’re very proud of ourselves because none of us wants this, none of us wants to see this guy like blow chunks in front of the members. And then at the very end if you’ve ever seen a court martial, there’s a moment when the judge has to confer with the party who called the witness to ask is this a temporary or a permanent excusable? Because they obviously can be recalled if they’re temporary, they can’t, if they’re permanent. If they’re temporary, maybe they can still wait in the court martial, like wait around the building and not have to be there. And so he’s like temporary or permanent?. And I’m like, permanent, your Honor. He like gives me this look like you’re straight. And then he has to turn to the defense and be like, any objection to that. And he’s just sort of like, again, like daring them do not cross this man because he does not want to get sick. All my stars. The defense is like, no, no, your honor. And then he is like, you may be permanently excused and the guy’s like running out. And I have no doubt he needed that garbage can as soon as he left.
